THE IMPERFECTION, PART 5
INT. DRUGMART - DAY
ELECTRONIC GREETER
Hi! Welcome to DrugMart! You’re in the right place!
CHARLIE
God I hate that thing.
AMBER
That is so creepy.
PAULINE
Is that supposed to take the place of the greeter? Like, the old people at Walmart?
CHARLIE
Yeah I think they’ve outsourced that job to robots.
PAULINE
Ew. Sad.
AMBER
Smells better, though.
They walk further back into the pharmacy.
CHARLIE
Hi Mahmoud. How’s it going.
MAHMOUD
Ugh. Not you again.
AMBER
Hey, why you gotta be like that? Didn’t you ever listen to the Smiths?
MAHMOUD
You listen to the Smiths?
AMBER
Yeah, man, why shouldn’t I listen to the Smiths. And you know what Morrissey says, right? “Its easy to laugh, its easy to hate...”
MAHMOUD
“...It takes guts to be gentle and kind.” God I love that song.
AMBER
Morrissey’s my boy.
They high five.
MAHMOUD
Ok great, what an awesome little Breakfast Club reunion we’re all having.
CHARLIE
Mahmoud, shut the fuck up. Check and see if Amber and I had our prescriptions refilled.
MAHMOUD
Why can’t you just ask nicely?
CHARLIE
Because you’re mean to me every single time I come in here. So you lost the privilege of being treated with common courtesy. You ridicule me, and my friend Amber here, even though you know we suffer from a serious illness. And that’s wrong. Its wrong, and its rude, and frankly, its smacks of cruelty. But right now, its just not about YOU, ok? Our doctor is missing. So I need you to get on that commodore 64 you have over there and find out if our medications have been refilled.
MAHMOUD
I want an apology.
CHARLIE
And I want to not constantly hallucinate weird shit.
MAHMOUD
Well if you can’t apologize for swearing at me, then I guess, oh look at that, the ancient computer is no worky.
SFX of him banging on the plastic keyboard. Pauline takes out her phone.
PAULINE
(talking into her phone)
Hey Siri, call Janice.
MAHMOUD
Wait, you know Janice? How does she know Janice?
PAULINE
(pause)
Hi, Janice?! Its Pauline. I’m great, great, thanks for asking.
He starts actually working the computer keyboard.
AMBER
(mocking)
Oooh Mahmoud’s in trouble.
CHARLIE
She knows everyone, dude. Everyone.
PAULINE
How are the boys? Did Billy get that lego set I sent? Oh good! I know, I know! Lego Paris! Soooo cute. Well, look, I’m calling because I’m actually here at the DrugMart on 14th, and my friends are trying to pick up their prescriptions but we’re having a bit of...
MAHMOUD
I’ve got them.
AMBER
What?
MAHMOUD
They’re here. Charlie’s and...
He types more.
MAHMOUD
Yours too.
PAULINE
Oh good! Hey Janice, I think I was premature. Everything seems to be ok.... Ok, I will, but it seems like everything is sorted out. Kiss the boys for me. Ok. You too. Bye.
MAHMOUD
Let me grab them-- one sec.
He walks a bit back from the counter and rustles through some orders that are waiting for pick up in their paper bags with 8000 pages of small print stapled to them.
MAHMOUD
Here. Here you go.
CHARLIE
Who called in the prescriptions?
MAHMOUD
It’ll say on the bottle.
Amber rips open the paper bag.
AMBER
Its says Dr Marcello.
(to Charlie)
So wait, that means this is real?
CHARLIE
Its all real.
AMBER
Well fuck me with an actual eggplant.
PAULINE
Thanks, Mahmoud.
MAHMOUD
Hey you won’t mention this to Janice, right?
PAULINE
Mention what?
MAHMOUD
Thanks.
AMBER
I got my eye on you, Mahmoud.
CHARLIE
Bye, loser.
MAHMOUD
Oh grow the fuck up.
The posse scrambles back outside to the street.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE DRUGMART - CONTINUOUS
PAULINE
Guys. This is serious. If Sadler’s missing, and someone else is writing scripts for us, we’ve got to do something!
CHARLIE
Exactly what I’ve been saying!
AMBER
So what, what do we do.
CHARLIE
I think we have to take a ride on the subway. Follow me.
INT. SUBWAY - AFTERNOON
Pauline, Amber, and Charlie are on the F train, hoping to find the Old Factory.
SUBWAY ANNOUNCER VOICE
Second Ave. Stand clear.
PAULINE
So, Charlie, look at the map: the F train leaves Manhattan just after the East Broadway stop, and doesn’t stop again until York street in Brooklyn.
AMBER
Yeah Pauline, we know. We ride the subway every day.
PAULINE
Well I just... I just don’t.
CHARLIE
You’re more of a taxi kind of person.
PAULINE
I’m more of a private driver kind of person, Charlie.
AMBER
Well this going to be an exciting adventure in two different ways, Pauline! We can visit a hidden factory under the east river, and see how the other half lives! Exciting.
PAULINE
Neither of those sound very interesting to me.
AMBER
Look who’s outside of their comfort zone.
CHARLIE
How many people are this car?
AMBER
Like, 12.
CHARLIE
Count them.
PAULINE
1, 2...
AMBER
5, 6, 7...
PAULINE
I got 15.
AMBER
Me too. Why?
CHARLIE
Just watch.
The train slows down.
SUBWAY ANNOUNCER VOICE
East Broadway. Last stop in Manhattan. Stand clear of the closing doors.
Everyone ushers out of the car. Its suddenly very quiet. The doors close again and the train takes off.
AMBER
Oh shit.
CHARLIE
See what I mean?
PAULINE
Why did everyone get off? I mean, that’s not like normal is it?
AMBER
Definitely not normal.
CHARLIE
I think its happening.
Charlie starts talking into his phone.
CHARLIE
Hey there Dr Sadler. Me again. Its, uh, about noon on Tuesday. I’m with Amber and Pauline, and we’re about to go in search of something called the Old Factory...
AMBER
What are you doing?
CHARLIE
I’m making my recordings for Dr Sadler. He wants me to get verification when I start to hallucinate.
AMBER
You actually do those? You’re so square man.
CHARLIE
What? You don’t do them?
AMBER
Nah.
PAULINE
What recordings? Dr Sadler never asked me to make any recordings.
Pauline sounds a bit left out. She was always the teacher’s pet, so not knowing this little tidbit about extra credit homework does not compute.
SUBWAY ANNOUNCER VOICE
East River. Doors open on the left.
PAULINE
Holy fucking shit.
SUBWAY ANNOUNCER VOICE
East River. York street is next. Stand clear.
AMBER
Are we doing this?
SUBWAY ANNOUNCER VOICE
You’re doing this. Stand clear.
AMBER
Well fuck ok then.
The three of them get off the train. The doors close and the train pulls away.
CHARLIE
So we just got off the train at a stop called East River, between east Broadway and York street on the F train, which I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist, except all three of us are here.
He turns to Amber.
CHARLIE
You’re here, right?
AMBER
Yep.
PAULINE
Me too.
CHARLIE
Ok, so that’s verification. Great. Let’s go.
They start walking, their footsteps echo off concrete walls.
CHARLIE
We’re going through the turnstile now, and there’s some stairs... they look like regular subway exit stairs except they’re going down.
PAULINE
So we’re going down?
AMBER
That seems like a bad idea.
CHARLIE
Ok we’re walking down the stairs, and there’s some light at the end there. You see that? And I hear cars.
SFX-wise they walk out into what sounds like a normal city street, except its in a GIANT tunnel.
AMBER
Holy shit.
CHARLIE
We’re outside the subway entrance now, and there’s a few buildings, and a street... streets, it looks a lot like Brooklyn, actually.
PAULINE
Is this what Brooklyn looks like?
AMBER
You seriously never go to Brooklyn?
PAULINE
Not really.
AMBER
Well this is pretty much what Dumbo looks like, except for the giant ceiling that looks like subway tile with some weird blue skylights in it.
CHARLIE
I think those skylights are under the river, see how blue and green they are.
PAULINE
Ew.
AMBER
Oh shit, yeah, I think you’re right.
CHARLIE
And we’re looking at some buildings, they look like old brick factories and warehouses, the same stuff you see by the waterfront.
AMBER
Its like a secret hipster neighborhood! What the fuck? How did I not know about this?
PAULINE
Charlie, look at that.
AMBER
What do you think the rent’s are like around here?
PAULINE
Amber, seriously, across the street. What does it say on that building?
CHARLIE
Its says The Bonafide Light Bulb and Appliance Factory. 1934.
PAULINE
So that’s the spot.
CHARLIE
I think that’s where Inés lives.
AMBER
What?
CHARLIE
On our date, she told me lived with a bunch of roommates in an old light bulb factory. Then she got off at this stop.
AMBER
That’s a whole lot of coincidence, Charlie.
CHARLIE
That’s what I’m thinking too. Fuck.
He’s a bit sad about that.
AMBER
Oh its ok, its ok Charlie. I think she really digs you.
CHARLIE
You do?
AMBER
Well her body language today, it was, spicy Italian, you know? But, since I also saw spiders crawling all over her I was a bit distracted.
CHARLIE
You didn’t even tell me! Has it been happening a lot?
AMBER
Well, yeah. I didn’t want to bother you guys. I knew it wasn’t real.
PAULINE
That’s amazing progress, Amber. We really have to celebrate that.
AMBER
You know what Pauline, you’re right! I think that is a big step! Go me.
PAULINE
Go you!
CHARLIE
Guys. Guys. Group hug later, ok? Right now, let’s go inside this building and see what the fuck is going on.
They cross the street, and go inside the lobby of the building.
PAULINE
You guys, look at the names. The names on the buzzers. The names are all alphabetized, its only S’s.
AMBER
Sadler. Salazar. Salmon. Sammick. Samson. Sawyer. They all begin with SA. I wonder if all the other buildings in the neighborhood are the rest of the alphabet?
CHARLIE
(still recording)
Dr Sadler, we’re standing in the lobby of the old light bulb factory, and your name is on one of the buzzers.
AMBER
Will you put that fucking thing down, man. We’re on a mission. Its not time to do your self help tapes.
CHARLIE
But I’m supposed to document my hallucinations.
She pinches his shirt.
CHARLIE
Ow! Don’t give me a fucking purple nurple. Fuck.
AMBER
Did you feel that?
CHARLIE
Yeah it hurt like hell.
AMBER
Ok, you’re not hallucinating.
PAULINE
Cut it out. What do we do now?
AMBER
Ring Sadler’s buzzer, duh.
They ring a few times, and nothing happens.
CHARLIE
Shit.
PAULINE
This one says manager. Let’s talk to the manager.
She buzzes it.
AMBER
I love how you do that, its like, its your right to talk to the manager, you just lean right the fuck in.
PAULINE
Well sure, its his job right, he’s managing.
AMBER
Amazing, because I’d be all like, no, I don’t want to bother the dude--
A voice comes on the box, its the same as Susan and Ms Carlisle, the boss person.
SUSAN
Hello? Can I help you?
PAULINE
Yes, hi. Hi there, we’re here in the lobby and...
The door buzzes.
SUSAN
Its open. Stop forgetting your keys! We’re SUPPOSED to have keys!
AMBER
That sounds like Ms. Carlisle.
SUSAN
Ms. Carlisle? Amber? Is that you?
CHARLIE
Get the door! quick!
SUSAN
You’re not supposed to be down here, Amber. Don’t you have a shift right now or something?!
CHARLIE
(whisper shouting)
Shhh! Don’t say a word. Come on, quick, through the door.
SUSAN
Hello? Is anyone there? Amber?
PAULINE
Through here, come on!
We hear the sound of a large door being pulled open, and they all rush through, but stop suddenly. Susan’s voice fades in the background as the front door swings closed behind them.
AMBER
Oh come the fuck on.
PAULINE
Oh. My. God.
CHARLIE
I’m recording this. I need to record this. Shut up Amber.
AMBER
(still distracted by what she sees)
I didn’t say a thing.
CHARLIE
You were about to.
Charlie speaks into his phone.
CHARLIE
So we got into the building, and now we’re standing in what seems like a giant warehouse. There’s maybe 3 levels of giant metal shelves, they’re old and rusted. And standing on the shelves, shoulder to shoulder are people. Like all kinds of normal looking everyday people. Each person has a small cubby next to them, with some clothes hanging in it. There’s hundreds, probably over a thousand people in here. Their eyes are closed and they’re not moving.
They’re slowly walking in.
PAULINE
Look at this! Its like they’re asleep.
AMBER
Don’t get so close!
PAULINE
They’re out cold. Oh- wait.
AMBER
Why do they all have light bulbs over their heads?
PAULINE
Oh man. They’re plugged in.
CHARLIE
What?
PAULINE
They’re fucking plugged in! Like, recharging.
CHARLIE
Shhh. Did you hear that?
AMBER
Oh shit, someone’s coming. Hide!
CHARLIE
Over here, come on.
Sounds of them scurrying.
AMBER
Are we really hiding behind a big fat guy who’s plugged into the wall? Can I get a fucking verification over here?
CHARLIE
Shh. That woman, over there. Her light bulb just went out.
PAULINE
(sounding squished)
I can’t see!
CHARLIE
She just unplugged herself. Now she’s... she’s stretching. Like someone who just woke up from a nap. Wait she’s coming.
SFX of footsteps echoing in the cavernous warehouse. The footsteps lead to the door, it opens, then closes, and it’s quiet again. They whisper in order to not be found:
PAULINE
Ok I’m about to lose my shit because you guys are... touching me and I don’t like it!
AMBER
Sorry Pauline.
(to Charlie)
She doesn’t like to be touched. Germs and shit.
PAULINE
Thanks, that’s really respectful.
AMBER
I got you, dude.
PAULINE
Not a dude.
AMBER
Oh shit, you’re right! Gender is so entrenched in our language...
CHARLIE
It really is, that’s true. Like all the way back to Indo-European.
PAULINE
William S Burroughs said “language is virus from outer space.”
CHARLIE
You know I love that shit, but we gotta stay focused here. If these are arranged alphabetically, then maybe we can find Sadler's’ spot. His like, cubby or whatever.
AMBER
Ok. That makes sense.
PAULINE
Let’s go down there, to the left, that seems like the first row.
They quietly shuffle down the echoey aisle.
AMBER
Sachs. Sackett. Saco. Sadaka. Here it is!
PAULINE
Empty.
CHARLIE
That’s his jacket though, right? Elbow patches. And these are his glasses?
PAULINE
Definitely.
AMBER
Guys, I just saw another light bulb go out.
PAULINE
Can we please get the fuck out of here now?
CHARLIE
Yep. Good call.
AMBER
Yeah I’m straight, let’s make like a baby.
PAULINE
Make like a baby?
AMBER
Yeah. Head out.
CHARLIE
Now, come on!
Action music comes up as they hustle back out the door, through the lobby, and out on to the street.
EXT. EAST RIVER STOP STREET - MOMENTS LATER
Back on the street, suddenly Inés is there, on her way home.
PAULINE
(breathing heavily from nerves)
We made it.
AMBER
That was fucked up.
INÉS
Charlie?
CHARLIE
Inés?! Hi. Hey what’s up?
INÉS
What are you doing coming out of my building, Charlie?
CHARLIE
Oh, yeah. Weird. This probably looks bad.
INÉS
You’re right, it really does.
AMBER
Hi Inés!
PAULINE
Hi. I’m Pauline. I saw you at the coffee shop earlier.
INÉS
Can you guys give us a minute?
PAULINE
Sure. Of course. Come on Amber.
INÉS
Charlie, I’m feeling, like, a little alarmed that you’re visiting my building.
CHARLIE
I get that. But, look, I promise, we’re not here because of you... I mean, this isn’t a stalking situation! I’m crazy, but I’m not a predator. Or rude. I’m not breaking into your place to steal your dirty socks or anything.
INÉS
Usually the creeps go for panties.
CHARLIE
See! I don’t even know what you’re supposed to steal!
INÉS
Then what are you doing here.
CHARLIE
We’re still looking for our doctor. Pauline’s a patient too. We heard from someone that we needed to go to the Old Factory, and we think this building is it. There are people in there, Inés, people that are plugged into chargers and sleeping standing up!
INÉS
No, Charlie, they’re not.
CHARLIE
I just saw them.
INÉS
That’s not real, come on.
She pulls out her keys, she walks him back into the building.
CHARLIE
Where are we going?
INÉS
I’m showing you that what you saw isn’t real.
They walk up a flight of steps, she unlocks a door.
INÉS
Come in. Come on, get in here. What do you see?
CHARLIE
A normal looking loft apartment. There’s a little kitchen area, with a couple stools. There’s a bike hanging on hooks by the front door. There are some rooms that have divided up with a pretty shabby drywall job and some old windows. Its amazing. Its beautiful.
INÉS
Ok, that’s what I see too. That’s my apartment. Look, I get that you’re... not well, I get that. And I like you, but, I’m a little freaked out right now. So, I think you should go.
CHARLIE
I can’t believe it. It was totally different just a minute ago... There were giant shelves, with people standing on them hundreds and hundreds of people, sleeping standing up, and plugged in, with light bulbs over there heads.
INÉS
Charlie? We’ll talk about this later, ok?
CHARLIE
Ok alight I’m going.
He walks out the door into the hallway.
CHARLIE
I know this looks bad, and you think I’m totally insane, but... I’d still like to hang out. Maybe on neutral ground?
INÉS
I’m sure I’ll see you at the coffee shop Charlie. Let’s just leave it there for now, ok?
CHARLIE
(heartbroken)
Ok. Sure. I’ll see you there.
The door closes and he walks down the hallway, down the stairs, out the front door.
AMBER
What’s up? You ok?
CHARLIE
It changed. Inside, the whole building, it changed.
PAULINE
What do you mean, it changed?
CHARLIE
It was just an normal apartment building. Like, lofts, Just regular, artsy Brooklyn lofts.
AMBER
No fucking way.
CHARLIE
She showed me, we went inside her place. It was just... just an apartment. Totally normal.
AMBER
Wait, are we having, like, group hallucinations now? Cause we all saw that shit right? I mean, there were people, plugged into power-strips, plugged into the fucking wall!
PAULINE
Wait a fucking second. Are you telling me the walls moved around and the building changed inside? That’s every hallucination I have.
AMBER
Fuck that’s right.
PAULINE
Fuck. Fuckety fuck fuck. This isn’t happening!
Pauline is crumbling, and shocked that she’s crumbling, simultaneously.
AMBER
Oh babe its ok. It ok. Keep it together.
PAULINE
No its not! Its NOT OK. I have a whole world built on... built on being broken. Having a disorder. Overcoming an illness. And if I’m not, if I haven’t been hallucinating the fucking moving walls...
CHARLIE
Pauline--
PAULINE
If they’ve actually been moving, then I’m not who I thought I was. At all. Instead, I’m just a sucker. I’m just a rube. Just another asshole who got conned.
CHARLIE
Ok. I’m not usually the one to bring up the whole ‘self-talk’ thing, but let’s not get super negative yet. We could actually be standing at a crossroads, you know, where we’re discovering something that changes life for everyone- everyone on the planet. So before you say you’ve been conned, maybe just think of yourself as the kid in E.T. or something like that.
PAULINE
Never saw it.
CHARLIE
How did you not see E.T.? Were you grown in a lab?
AMBER
We need to leave. Right now.
PAULINE
You’re right. Let’s get the fuck out of here. I need a drink. Can we call an Uber?
AMBER
We’re in an underground cavern beneath the east River, I don’t know if Uber works down here!
CHARLIE
Actually it does. It says it’ll be 4 minutes.
PAULINE
Oh thank god.
AMBER
Charlie, man, what did Inés say?
CHARLIE
Well. Its not good. She’s cooling it down. Or calling it off.
AMBER
Oh man.
CHARLIE
Don’t worry, she said ‘I’ll see you at the coffee shop.’ So we’re still welcome.
AMBER
Aw I don’t give a shit about that. This is New York, man. You can’t pee on the street without it dribbling into a coffee shop.
PAULINE
I’m sorry Charlie. That sucks. Its just a misunderstanding, I’m sure she’ll get over it.
AMBER
Yeah.
CHARLIE
Maybe.
PAULINE
And if she doesn’t then fuck her.
AMBER
Yeah man. Little empathy never hurt, am I right?
CHARLIE
There’s the car.
Amber starts breathing hard.
CHARLIE
You ok?
PAULINE
What’s up?
AMBER
The spiders - they’re on your phone Charlie.
PAULINE
Those are definitely not real. Not real Amber.
CHARLIE
They’re not there.
AMBER
This is so fucking confusing.
PAULINE
I can’t believe the walls actually move. All this time...
CHARLIE
Amber, say your mantra!
AMBER
I can’t remember it! Charlie, drop that phone man! They’re everywhere!
PAULINE
I wonder if that’s why it took so long to renovate the kitchen? I knew those assholes were scamming me. FUCK.
CHARLIE
Its ok Amber, I’m totally fine. No spiders.
AMBER
Awww now they’re going in your eyes!
A car pulls up.
DRIVER
You Charlie?
CHARLIE
Yeah, hi.
AMBER
Charlie they’re going in your mouth!
PAULINE
I will ruin you, contractor fuck face!
They get into the car.
DRIVER
Is she ok? She doesn’t look to good.
PAULINE
She’s fine, everything’s totally fine. Extra fifty if you step on it.
DRIVER
Works for me.
PAULINE
FUCK!
INT. UBER IN MIDTOWN TUNNEL - AFTERNOON
Amber, Pauline, and Charlie get in the Uber.
CHARLIE
You guys ok?
AMBER
Barely. But yeah, yeah I’m straight.
PAULINE
Crushed. Shattered. Ground pulled out from beneath my feet, completely. But otherwise, yeah, I’m ok.
CHARLIE
Look at that- we just came out into the midtown tunnel.
PAULINE
Oh yeah, from one of those little side entrances. I always wondered what those were for.
CHARLIE
I thought they were for maintenance, like for city trucks or whatever.
AMBER
I just want air.
CHARLIE
And sunlight.
PAULINE
And Xanax.
They ride in silence for a moment. Music on the radio becomes a triumphant soundtrack to announce their escape from the trial of the Old Factory.
CHARLIE
(to the driver)
Its over here, left hand side.
PAULINE
Where are we going?
CHARLIE
Right here, thanks.
(to Pauline)
Come on.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE CHINESE RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON
They get out of the car.
CHARLIE
Fuck!
AMBER
What, what is it?
CHARLIE
The Chinese restaurant. Its closed.
AMBER
Wow. Really closed. Like, it has for a FOR LEASE sign on it.
CHARLIE
Oh man. They’re on to us.